Lonely Realise

You know... I realise when I am happy, I will want to share it with the whole world.
When I am angry, I will want to share with my bestie.
When I am sad, I will want to share it with my babe.
But when I am disappointed and lost, I always keep it to myself.

Which is the worst feeling ever.

I am no longer excited and happy in the current relationship.
It's been 4 years since we've been together.
So many things we've been through and we've supported each other unconditionally.

But this time, I feel like crying when I look at you.
I feel so much hatred when I look at you.
I don't even wanna argue if I disagree on certain thing (which I will usually do because it is important to correct your partner when they are at fault)
I smile all the time because if I start being sad, I will just burst out and cry and get into a huge argument.

I think if you're smart enough to realise I've not been really arguing with you.
I've never really corrected you anymore.

- Car Park: for instant, you are very clear that the next morning I need to leave house very early in the morning, when I ask you where should I park, you have the guts to reply "you like la". Well ok then, I'll park outdoor then and thank you for that.

- Smoking: yes. No comment and will never comment anymore if you realized. I think you're enjoying your moment of me not complaining anymore ya.

- Driving: Hmmmm... Never listen never will.

- Facial Expression: what the hell? Why the hell do you always make your face so tense and "black"? Did I owe the something ? 4 years and getting worst

- Attitude: you will always win because you will not listen.

Can we get through 5 years? I really really really never wanted to be in this sad and down position. But I've been beaten down. I can't breathe.